random talk for a tuesday evening

That's it. I have to stop missing class. This is getting downright silly.

And you know what else is downright silly? There's a new pill out there, and its intention is to end periods. I just don't think that's natural! Sure, being a girl is a pain in a butt, but there are some things out there which I just don't think should be messed with that much. This is one of them.

I know, I can't believe I'm putting this after menstrual talk, but Apolo Anton Ohno won Dancing with the Stars, Season 4! I think he most definitely deserves it, and I know that it makes me entire family happy. See what happens when my family votes? Good things, people, good things.

Another unbelievable thing: this academic quarter is coming to an end. It's mind-blowing that it's 8th week, but I just want it to go faster. I don't want to say goodbye, but I'm tired of this already. I wish I could do well and we could just be through, because it's frustrating. My classes aren't bad or anything, but there's so much I'd rather do, I guess. On a class related note, my Poli Sci professor was feeling bad today and had to sit down. We were all worried about him, so we called the paramedics. It seemed like he was doing better afterwards, but he gave us a scare. The man is the product of history. Someone once told me that he's like Forrest Gump. He's seen everything: the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Holocaust, Communist China, Communist Russia, Imperial Japan. It's crazy. He's living history.

One of these days, I wonder what legacy I'll leave. I hope it's a good one. I hope people stick around and care. I hope I leave the world better than I came into it.

finding the one?

A friend and I were having a conversation about our attempts to find "the one." Not "the two," not "the three," but "the ONE." This, of course, followed stories of our various attempts (amusing, surprising, and downright mortifying), all in the hopes of finding someone who fits each of our criteria.

She mentioned a few categories of men, including "'object of my worldly lust' or 'that guy I kind of like' or 'he's kind of endearing' or 'oh my dear God I want you in multiple ways'." This got me thinking, what have the men in my life amounted to?

Oh, let's see, I wasn't properly kissed until I was 20, and even that, I would say, was questionable, because, although he was charming, he was an Italian man of indeterminate age who took me up to the Gianicolo (the Roman version of makeout mountain) and promptly proceeded to flirt and lay one on me. I had no idea what was up. I was naive enough to think it wasn't even a date! Bad choices. Luckily, that all ended there. In short, don't talk to random Italians on the street and don't take a ride on the back of their motorini.

The other rather inappropriate physical contact was at a Roman salsa club. A large, possibly Cuban, man started dancing with me. He was harmless at first, albeit a bit weird. He would try to have me put my hands on his face. This should have hinted me to run away. No, I kept dancing. That only made him think I was into him, apparently, because I kept turning away when I thought he was trying to kiss me, and eventually, he licked me! From collarbone to ear. Can you say "gross!"? Right after that dance, I ran to my friend and begged him to hide me. I need to start screening my dance partners.

Somehow, Rome brought out the flirt in me. Other than that, a guy I semi-asked-out turned out to be gay. He's a great guy, but I worry that every guy I like, even a little, will be gay. This worries me. Somehow, I don't think it's going to be a HUGE problem, because I have mostly Bible Study friends, but you never know. Other men, men I can't have, can be downright charming. And this, this perhaps, is where I get into trouble.

So, returning to the idea of "the one," I'm far from finding him. I figure he's out there somewhere, and until then, I'll have to be satisfied with wildly entertaining and embarrassing stories from my past. I think that what's most evident here is my bad choices. I need to work on those.

altar boyz!

I couldn't NOT post this video of "Matthew, Mark, Luke, Juan ... Abraham (he's Jewish)!"

You'll just have to watch it to see why:


I know I've been posting a lot of videos lately, but I'm having fun with it. I'm sharing stuff that I love, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. A note about this video is that I got to see this particular cast (the original cast) Off-Broadway in May of 2005. They are excellent, and this video showcases that. I mean ... I certainly can't dance like that, much less sing while I dance. It's impressive and funny, all at the same time.

pimp my artist

Because I just can't get enough, here's another video for your viewing/listening pleasure. This one I actually shot. It's Brad Wolfe and Megan Slankard playing/debuting their brand spankin' new duet "Hand in Hand" at the Cafe du Nord. It's not the best quality, because this was just taken with my regular camera, but it's a great song, and I highly recommend that you give it a watch/listen.

finally, something of my own

I took the liberty to upload the Altar Boyz medley from the 19th Annual BC/EFA Easter Bonnet in 2005. It's fun, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

the ghost of sleep

I have a problem. I can't wake up on time. I set my alarm clock and promptly hit it every time it makes even the tiniest beep. I don't want to wake up. And because of this lack of ability and lack of desire, I miss my class. My 11 AM class! I enjoy that class! How does this happen? This shouldn't happen! I should be normal, but no, I have a problem. It's time to take drastic waking up measures again. I need to go to bed earlier. Really. And I need to do my homework. And I need to focus ... and ... oh dear. My life needs one of those self-help shows or something.

plays with squirrels

Squirrels can be kinda vicious. I mean, one bit two adults and a child recently! Pretty much, stop feeding the squirrels. They'll be the world's next seagull ... but at least they won't poop on you. I hope.

small obsessions

I admit it, I am addicted to certain TV shows. By this I mean that I will even sit through the commercials during these shows -- that's how much I want to watch in the moment, if you catch my drift. In particular, I've been obsessing about Dancing With the Stars. I mean, Apolo Anton Ohno! I'm most definitely voting for him ... and he has earned the votes, might I add.

Check it out:

Apolo & Julianne's Paso Doble

Apolo & Julianne's Samba

Both of these dances were really fun and really intense. I like the second one, because the song is "I Like To Move It," which I remember from Madagascar. It's all good fun. I wish I could dance like that ... and yeah. Enough babbling. Time to keep on not sleeping. I'll knit instead.

growing older

The prospect of growing older scares me. I've got a wedding invitation atop my dresser that is awaiting an RSVP. My friends are getting married. All around me, there are engagement rings, smiling faces, and wedding bells.

And all I want, deep down, is to be a kid. There's simplicity in childhood, particularly in love. As children, we love boundlessly, and sure, we make mistakes, but we get right back up again and keep on trying. As adults, we withhold and hide our love. We shy away from our mistakes, and we are paralyzed by the fear that we'll get hurt, even when our chances are good. It's refreshing to see love reappear, but it's also scary. It somehow signifies that we're next, that as soon as our friends are engaged or married, our hands will have rings, too. It doesn't matter if we have boyfriends or not, but the prospect of marriage looms. In some ways, it's now or never, lest we are 30 years of age and unwed. Heaven forbid. See? It could be great to be a kid again!

However, kids these days are growing up in uncertain times. One of my deepest fears is that I'll be an awful parent. I worry that my kids will do things I never dreamed of doing, and I'll be powerless to stop them. But part of being a parent is letting your kids make their own mistakes and letting them learn their own lessons. I'm just starting to realize that, and perhaps, that is the first step that I'm taking toward accepting that I'm growing older, after all.

trouble sleeping

I haven't cried ... really cried ... in over half a year. I don't remember the last time I cried, and God knows that I really need to right now.

I was a sensitive little kid, and the other kids would always tease me, which would always make it worse. In particular, they'd call me "crybaby," which, let me say, doesn't help when the kid cries enough as it is. So, crying became my self-defense mechanism. Every time I felt threatened, I would cry, and most of the times it would get me out of hot water. It became a habit, and then, even when I wanted to be strong and to accept the punishment that I knew I deserved, I would start to cry. It got to be a problem.

I don't know when I stopped crying. I don't know why. It bothers me sometimes, like now, because I can't fathom these changes that have infiltrated my life. I can't explain them, and that bothers me, too. I don't know where the old me stopped and the new me began, or whether this is just a new, continuous phase that crept up on me suddenly and stopped me dead in my emotional tracks. I don't feel emotionally dead, but I wonder if I could cry again ... I wonder if I could breathe a little easier.

(By the way, that photo was taken on the road from the medieval town of Anagni to the monastery of Casamari, both in Italy. It reads "dolce sogno," which means "sweet dreams.")

you are my everything

I adore this man. More specifically I think he is just cute and has a breathtaking voice.

I bring you Michael Bublé and his new single, "Everything." I hope you enjoy!

say no more

Avenue Q + Fiddler on the Roof = Everyone's a Little Bit Jewish



That is all.